Hit "Send"!

What is it about seeing someone else extremely angry and frustrated that makes me want to giggle? I mean, really, really giggle, like inappropriately so... And why is it that it makes the other person even more angry, especially when it's my husband?. ;0)-

I recently watched my husband try his hand at fixing our washer and dryer and well, let me just say, there were more than a few moments of frustration on his part and more than a few moments of sincere effort at NOT giggling on my part. To the point of tears, y'all... lots of tears... ;0) My husband doesn't feel quite the same way about giggles as I do. ;0)

I was supposed to be doing the very important job of holding the little white pipe-looking  thing-y on which he was trying to affix some large black rubber thing-y with this clamp-looking thing-y on the end. The problem was the clamp thing-y was WAY too strong to be pulled back and tightened by the human hand. So, a pair of pliers seemed to be the way to go except our pliers were old and they kept slipping off the clamp which caused my husband's hand to get pinched in between washing machine inner parts and you can imagine the rest, hmmm? Thus, the reason for my giggling... and his angry looks... and my giggling... and his struggle with desperately wanting to send me into the house, but he desperately needed other hands besides his. :) I mentioned several times that he should text knowledgeable-about-this-kind-of-thing neighbor to come over and help, but he didn't want to bother the poor guy as he'd just come home from work after his own long day in the heat. So, I made an appropriate excuse to go into the house to get him a large glass of water and I barely made it in the door before the giggles took hold of me. I managed to get him water, get myself together and head back outside. The problem? I didn't do a very good job removing the expression of laughter from my face. Oopsie. :) He took one look at my face and said, "It's not funny, Nell!" Well, that sent me into another tizzy of giggles. He then sent me into the house and said he'd finish himself.

So, I stood just inside the door contemplating whether or not I could exercise a bit more self-control and as my hubby was sweating, beginning to bleed, and trying very hard to not say something un-Christlike, the doorbell rang. Whew! Praise the Lord, it was the afore-mentioned neighbor who came when he was texted for help and within minutes, my washer was back in my laundry room, good as new! ;0) Yay! My hubby hit the "send" button!

I've wondered if the Lord wants to giggle at me sometimes? Now, don't misunderstand me, we don't serve a God who mocks or is mocked, but I do wonder if he finds my frustration amusing at times. He's sitting right there, with His cell phone out - so to speak- ready to receive my text, but I don't hit "send" because I want to fix it myself and not bother Him (like He doesn't already know what's going on... really?) He's ready and waiting to meet my need... I just have to ask, um, I mean, hit "send". ;0) 

"In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.  Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." - John 16:23-24

Whispers & Tears

"Nell?" she whispered... Slight movement from the covered figure...

"Nell?" she whispered a little more loudly....Lifting up of the head from the pillow and a START of fright from said covered figure...

"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." she said with a contrite look on her face.

"No, that's okay, sweetie, I wasn't all the way asleep, what's up, are you okay?" said the rumpled, slightly incoherent woman starting to come around and have the mother-concern of a child about to vomit...

"Yeah, I'm good, I just didn't get to give you a hug or tell you 'I love you' before you went to bed." she said with a small smile on her face...

"Oh, I'm sorry, honey." said the rueful, now fully coherent woman feeling badly for her inconsideration.

She just wanted to give me a hug and say "I love you"... (tear, sniff) 

Now, was I really expected to go right back to sleep after that? Really, people.... sigh. As I laid back down after hugs were given and kind words of love were exchanged, I shed a few tears of joy and perhaps healing, I think, at what a blessing my girls are to me in my life. Before I had children, I thought often of what I would be like as a momma. (ahem, snort) Let's just say, I'm really glad I didn't follow through on those thoughts. ;0) I can honestly say, I never considered my quiver would be as full of girls as it is and I'm so very glad I was wrong on that count. The healing, the growth, the love that being a momma and step momma has brought to me has been something I never even considered, never even dreamed would be a result. Isn't that just like the Lord? He gives us things we desire or think we desire and then, what we desire ends up being so much beyond what we thought it was gonna be. Wow, Lord, You're amazing...:)

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. "- Ephesians 3:21-22

Balance

Life is like a teeter-totter. Wait!  Let me rephrase that!      

Life is like a tightrope. Hmmm... Okay, no, I don't think that's right either...

Life is like a balance beam? Now, that I've thought it out... ;0)

 I think life is like all three.

Sometimes life is like a teeter-totter, going crazy with highs and lows and not much time in between. Think it has something to do with being an adolescent! ;)

Life is sometimes like a tightrope, walking along 1/4 inch by 1/4 inch, sweating bullets and hoping to have firm footing very soon. I'm quite sure parenting is much of the time on the tight rope! 

Life seeming like a balance beam has to be somewhere in the middle of these two. There isn't the up and down of a teeter-totter on a balance beam unless its a controlled, planned movement of a leap or a flip. Moving along on a balance beam goes much faster than a tightrope and it's not quite as nerve-wracking.

Honestly, I think I need all three. Now, I know some may disagree with that statement because not everyone enjoys the highs and lows that come with a teeter-totter. Also, some folks might not care too much for the tension that would come with a tight rope walk - too much stress! ;) Perhaps even still, someone might consider a balance beam too boring. However, I truly believe God allows all three times in my life to truly teach me, to mold me, to grow me.

During my teeter-totter years (in my teens and early 20's), I learned to hang on tight to the Lord. He was the only steady and strong force in my life during those years. Granted, I did have a lot of fun and those highs were so exhilarating! However, the lows can be debilitating and I had to learn to hold on to my faith in God's Word to keep me from flying off the teeter-totter that made up my life.

Ahhh, the tight rope! I'm in the midst of a tight rope walk right now. You see, I'm right smack in the middle of my parenting journey. I can see the "light at the end of the tunnel" so to speak as I get glimpses here and there of who my beautiful girls will most likely be when they are grown, but I find myself biting my lip when it comes to decisions that affect my girls. The responsibility of teaching and training them isn't something I take lightly and it causes me to sweat bullets on a regular basis! ;0) I've learned though to use the Word of God as my balancing pole. It pulls me back from the right or left whenever my own judgment cannot be trusted to make a step in the forward direction.

Now, I must admit I feel I haven't had my fair share of time on the balance beam! Gonna have to have a talk with the Lord about that one! ;0) Despite my best efforts to control and plan every move me and everyone else ;) makes, it just doesn't work out quite as fluidly and gracefully as I see others manage. If I had to point to a time for this apparatus of life, I guess it would be when I accepted Jesus as my Savior - smoothest leap and land I've ever made. It's easy to grasp the fact that you need a Savior when you have as big a mouth as I do! ;) So, in considering this passage of Scripture...

"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,  for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose."  Philippians 2:12-13

It seems to me the teeter-totter and the tight rope times are part of the whole "work out your salvation with fear and trembling" in my opinion. I need these times to keep me humble, remind me who is really in charge and challenge me to be ready for whatever might come my direction. The only constant is God and His Word and as long as I hold on and allow them to balance me, I'll come away from these contraptions of my life's journey learning valuable lessons and...hopefully... not too many bumps and bruises! ;)

Ahab & Jezebel - Cycles and Circles

I have read much these days about the kings of Israel and Judah. Fascinating stories. I think the one that has had me spellbound has been about Ahab and Jezebel. This has to be the story of the most insecure, afraid-of-people man and the most manipulative, scheming woman on this good green earth! Mercy!

I cannot think of one thing Ahab did that was a good thing. I don't think he had a spine, let alone a concept of noble integrity. Instead, he got into his bed and pouted on a regular basis. Pitiful. I cannot imagine having respect for a leader who would behave in such a way. Now, the only remotely kind thing I can say about his wife, Jezebel is I could understand her frustration with him when she gave him a tongue-lashing and told him to get up off his bed and quit acting like a baby! The sad, pathetic twist is that Jezebel's heart had no intention of doing good or honoring God in any way and instead of encouraging him to be a Godly man, she goaded him with murder, revenge and idol worship. Decisions Ahab made hid behind Jezebel's manipulations and calculating schemes. Supportive wife? I think not! The fact that they were both willing partners in some very destructive cycles of behavior in marriage and leadership is very sad indeed.
As I sat in awe of this story of a marriage so dysfunctional and ungodly, I was challenged to evaluate my own behavior in marriage. Do I encourage my husband to be a Godly man or am I manipulative and scheming? Now, thankfully, I don't have a hubby who is prone to pout. (psst - he leaves that to his wife ;)) He is a very noble, Godly man who sets the bar very high as to the definition of integrity. However, he is a human - flawed and saved by the grace of God and there are certainly things that cause him insecurity. I believe it is my job as his wife to come alongside him and offer respectful and submissive counsel when I feel things are going in an inappropriate direction. Timing, however is key.

Now, while I certainly wouldn't know this from personal experience ;0) it isn't appropriate to interrupt a situation and give an overbearing opinion right there in the middle of things heated and disheveled. Revisiting the topic later and gently offering counsel in the privacy of our home, or our room if our children are near ;0) is so much more appropriate and effective.   I am a valuable allied power of my husband. I have to take that very seriously and refuse the temptation to use that to my own agenda's advantage and manipulate with it.

I was nervous about including verses with this post, I must admit. Our generation has so misused the term submission to authority and unfortunately, women become aggravated at the very mention of the word, even in Christian circles. I love this verse because it beautifully illustrates the responsibility of each person in marriage. Men are commanded to love and women are commanded to respect. Those two things are not mutually exclusive. When a woman respects her husband through appropriate timing, well-chosen words and motives of purity she earns the respect of her husband. Likewise, when a man has respect for his wife, its a very simple, uncomplicated thing for him to show her love and how cherished she is. Lastly, when a woman feels loved, it's a simple thing to show respect. It's a beautiful circle of what marriage should really look like instead of the unhealthy cycle of distrust, manipulation and deceit.

"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." - Ephesians 5:33

Slimy Hairs and Simple Prayers

My youngest is in the beginning stages of washing, conditioning and rinsing her own hair. Now, much to her dismay, I still require her to wait until I check her hair before she does any of the above steps on her own. Most of the time she cooperates with that rule, until one evening..... ;0)

One evening, she decided she was big enough to do it all by herself and came out from the bathroom in record time completely dry, dressed and hair combed out. To myself I thought, "Hmmm..." To her, I said, "Wow, babe, why didn't you call me to come check?" She lifted her head, smiled her winning smile and said, "I can do it, Mommy! I can do it all by myself!" I simply smiled and said "Okay." Pick and choose those battles, right? Well.... um.....

About 30 minutes went by and it really seemed like her hair was drying very slowly this particular evening, although it didn't completely register with me what happened until I heard my 9 year old call out, "Uh, Mom... there's slime in Chloe's hair." Up from the chair I went directly to the playroom where they were fully engaged in Barbie's workday. As I got closer, I saw it - white slimy streaks all around the crown of my daughter's head and it still looked shiny wet. As I put my fingers through it, I nearly squealed with the grossness of it all! Not-all-the-way-rinsed shampoo mixed with really-not-all-the-way-rinsed conditioner and then air dried for about 45 minutes is a disgusting trio of errors, let me tell you! "Back to the shower, sister." said the assuredly-annoyed-but-trying-really-hard-to-be-patient mommy. She hung her little head in defeat and headed to the hall bath where Mommy remedied the slimy situation in about 5 minutes.

"Mommy?" she said in a quiet voice as I was drying out her hair with the towel.
"Yes, baby." I replied continuing to dry and brush in even strokes.
"Do you think I'll ever be big enough to wash my own hair?"
"Yes, darlin' you will, but for now, could you just be my baby a little bit longer?"
I was rewarded with a big grin and a nod and a rather wet-headed hug. ;0) Ahhh, she'll be my baby a little while longer... (tear, sniff) 

I don't know why, but thinking of this memory challenged me in a different kind of way. How often do I just enjoy my babies being my babies a little while longer? Do I willingly assist when they need my help or do I fuss at them about responsibility? In my zeal to teach, instill and prepare, do I miss the times of just being Mommy and baby? So, instead of some Scripture, I just felt like I needed to pray, hope that's all right. :)

"Lord, please guide my heart in raising my girls. Thank you for the charge to teach them about You and Your Word and prepare them for adulthood - I don't take it lightly. Balance me, Lord. Cause me to enjoy their presence and their lives. Help me to be blessed when they need me and refuse the aggravation that sometimes replaces the blessing. I love You..."

Names

Names. Baby names. Is there possibly anything more fun about being pregnant than picking out a name for your baby? I don't think so... unless it's being allowed to be lazy because you have a very good excuse! ;)

We have several friends who are having babies in the near future and we got into a family discussion a few nights ago about picking names for babies. We were telling the girls about Abbi's name and about how Daddy and I fought over her middle name. Daddy wanted Nicole and I wanted Rose. It had turned into a bit of an argument one day cause we are both stubborn. ;) I decided to look up the meaning of the two names because that had to convince him that Rose was the way to go. I found the meaning of Nicole first and as soon as I saw the words "victorious heart", I was ready to admit defeat and his choice was soon my choice and 9 years later - that's her middle name. ;)

The meaning of a name is something that always resonated with my momma. She made sure I knew what my name meant at a very young age. My name is Danelle which is a feminine form of the name Daniel and means - "God is my Judge". Just so you know, there are only 3 people in my entire lifetime who've pronounced my name correctly the first time they said it and the only reason I know is because my momma pointed it out to me as soon as the word was out of their mouth. Its' pronounced very differently from the more popular name, Danielle, in case you were wondering. ;0)

"God is my Judge" has defined my existence on this earth. I never cared much what anyone thought of my life choices growing up as long as I was okay with God to the point of being ridiculously socially awkward and unkind. This made for some lonely, difficult years especially in adolescence when "going along with the crowd" is what you do and for the most part I didn't because I thought it was stupid and had no qualms saying so. Sigh. Thankfully, the Lord has caused me to understand the meaning of the words tact and grace in the last 20 years or so. ;)

In spite of all the loneliness and feeling very weird throughout my early teens and into my 20's, I am very thankful for the meaning of my name because it's always reminded me of who God made me to be - who He chose me to be. See, He has a plan for me and my weirdness and He's revealed much to me over the years through the name I was given. Even though His plan included some loneliness and awkwardness at times, He still taught me through those times. Even when no one else really cared to be around me because of my complete lack of sensitivity, He was always waiting for me when I came home, defeated and unworthy. He always edified me through those times. He always cared for me through those times. He never forgot me. He never pushed me away. He always listened. He always loved.
So, wonder what your name means? ;0)

"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be." - Psalm 139: 13-16 

Hot Dogs

Hot dogs. The staple of any decent 4th of July picnic. An all American food, yes? Well... not for this all American girl. Blech. I do not like hot dogs or "tube steaks" as a friend of mine frequently referred to them whenever he and his wife would be serving them to company. Sounds fancier, you understand. ;)  I know you are beside yourself with wonder at the reason for my lack of hot dog love. Well, okay, maybe not beside yourself, but well, just go with it. ;0)

I'll keep you in suspense no longer. ;) I ate hot dogs on a very regular basis growing up. They were cheap and my family wasn't the richest on the block. Then, as I was working my way through college, I ate hot dogs again on a very regular basis for the same reason. There were many weeks in college when hot dogs were on the menu more than once - way more than once. Now, while I was always taught to be thankful for the fact I had food on my plate and it was more than what many folks had, I can still remember looking at the hot dogs and having to swallow back an involuntary gag reflex. So, now I'm just plain sick of eating them and I can't do it. Can anyone relate? I feel the same way about Ramen soup and cheese in a can. Shudder. Now, there is one exception for hot dogs. I can eat a chili dog about two or three times a year. I don't know why, but I get a craving for an all beef hot dog smothered in good old-fashioned Hormel chili, cheddar cheese and red onion on top - a lot of red onion!  Honestly though, with the exception of the afore-mentioned every few months chili dog, the thought of eating a hot dog still makes me want to gag. Literally.

I am so very thankful God's Word is nothing like hot dogs. Reading God's Word is amazing to me because I can read the exact same passage of Scripture and learn completely new things every single time. The books of the Bible are written in a variety of formats, some historical, some poetic, etc. However, even though the formats are different and they were penned to the paper by different men, they were all inspired of the Holy Spirit. How multi-faceted our Father in heaven is! His Word is our spiritual nourishment and instead of growing tired of the same old fare, we can look forward to a new taste every single day even though it might be the same dish!

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that all God’s people may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

- 2 Timothy 3:16-17