The Secret Is Out - Ultra Picky Is In! ;)

Gonna tell you a secret about me.... ;o) I am fashionably-challenged. Coordinating colors, matching shoes and accessorizing jewelry just isn't my thing. Now, I don't look like an idiot too often ; however, I must confess to not often being too concerned about the above things. 
There are several reasons:

1. Prints and patterns make me dizzy.
2. Necklaces make me itch
3. Bracelets make me jingle... why?
4. Layering clothing makes me sweat.
5. Nail polish makes me gag.
6. Finding appropriate shoes makes me cry.

I guess I'm just not too good at being a girly-girl. For the most part, I am very clean and neat, fresh and ironed. However, my wardrobe and it's accessories isn't something you'd call exciting.

For your information, I am partially color blind, hmph!  So, I often stick with very safe choices, black and neutral mixed with solid colors. If it is an outfit that looks like it's been "put together", you can bet I saw it on the dressing mannequin first! So, jewelry is often something I stay away from particularly because you have the whole "matching" process to go through, which is very fun for some, but often feels like cruel and unusual punishment to me! Yuck! 

I recently went shopping for some new jewelry with a good friend of mine. I truly did want to find some new things, in particular - a necklace to go with a new dress. So, we went to a large chain jewelry store and I literally kept us in the store for nearly an hour. I sifted through the wall of choices of fashionable necklaces with matching earrings, not finding anything for the first 25 minutes or so. Then, I spent the next 25 minutes turning my nose up at nearly every suggestion my poor sweet friend made. My two youngest were with us and they gave up at the 25 minute mark and simply sat down in the middle of the floor of whatever area we ventured. Sigh. I finally found ONE pair of earrings I liked and with a little coaxing, I managed to find a necklace similar to what I was looking for and a pair of earrings to match that as well. We made it out of the store before there was any weeping and/or gnashing of teeth. :)

The next day, I started to try on the set I'd bought and became frustrated rather quickly because it didn't look how I wanted it to look. Once again, my sweet friend came to assist me and showed me a couple of different ideas to make the selection work and once again, I turned my nose up at it because it didn't look right.

My friend, who I really think was fighting the impulse to  strangle me WITH said necklace  finally looked at me and said, "Nell, it looks fine, you are being ultra-picky." I sighed into the mirror and said, "Yeah, I am." 

Ultra-picky ... Yup, that's me. If my clothing and / or jewelry selection doesn't look perfect to me, I won't wear it. Now, mind you, I don't care much that everyone else thinks it looks fine, I still won't wear it. Sigh. I really think that's the crux of the entire matter of wardrobe and accessories for me. I'm a perfectionist and I simply don't have the natural ability to make my choices easily and quickly and so I don't do it any more than necessary. Hmmm, is that lazy?..... Wait! Don't answer that!

Now, what in the world does this have to do with my spiritual heart? I ask that pretty often, don't I? Is it annoying?..... Wait!  Don't answer that one either! 

Okay, back to the point! Am I ultra-picky about how my heart looks to me? Now, it might look just fine to everyone else, but do I take the time to take a good lengthy look in the mirror and check to see if it looks right? Probably not often enough. :o( I realized I take the opinion of friends and family members about the condition of my heart WAY too often. The bottom line is that only me and my Father God truly know what's in my heart. I cannot base my heart's condition on the opinion of another, I must line up my thinking, attitudes and actions with what God's Word says about me and how I'm to live my life. He wants ultra-picky! It's pleasing to Him. Who'd'a thunk it! ;o)

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the reviewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." - Romans 12:1-2

Sweat

Sweat. It's a "four-letter" word.....okay, it does have five letters, but you know what I mean, right? ;o) 

I do not enjoy the experience of sweating. I don't care much for sweat trailing down my neck. I do not like the feeling of sweaty hair plastered to my head. I cannot stand the feeling of sweat rolling down my legs underneath clothing. I detest the feeling of removing sickeningly-sweaty clothes that literally peel away from my skin. ** Shudder ** And listen, pulling a hairbrush through sweaty hair makes me want to squeal!!! However, even after stating all of the above, I must admit sweat is a necessary part of an effective exercise routine, in my humble opinion. Breaking a sweat is one the best ways to know if you're burning calories and fat. ;o)

It's one of those occasions when doing the right thing isn't the easiest thing, but it pays off in the long run, right? Now, why am I talking so much about sweating, you ask? ;0) Well, my two youngest girls and I have been memorizing Scripture this year and below is the first one we memorized.

"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified. " - 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

This has been my year of getting okay with the sweat, both physically and spiritually. I told the Lord in January that I wanted a fresh revelation of the word discipline because I didn't feel like I had any! I wanted...

1. Discipline in my physical health
2. Discipline in my spiritual walk
3. Discipline in my reactions to situations
4. Discipline in my thought life.

Well..... I have found  that discipline doesn't come without a little sweat and I've got to just get okay with it! I was truly convicted that I wanted all the gratifying effects of the discipline, but I didn't want to do the work or feel the sweat to get there... Ouch! 

The honest truth is the sweat is part of the means to get to the discipline. The sweat removes the impurities from your body, regulates the temperature of your body and forces the intake of replenishing fluids. It doesn't feel good to me! It's uncomfortable and makes me squirm. Spiritually speaking - I know God is using His refiner's fire to burn away the impurities in me when I begin to feel the discomfort of the spiritual sweat. ;o) Circumstance often has to do with what makes me sweat spiritually. That's where the challenges to grow and learn and change unhealthy behaviors comes into play and it is WORK! Can somebody say "Amen!"? Sheesh.

There are days when I have to bite down hard to get my big fat mouth to stay shut, days when I have to grit my teeth and do something that feels so incredibly foreign, but is the right thing to do. Still there are days when I have to fight down an ungodly impulse so hard, I literally break out in a physical sweat! ;o) However, all of this work and feeling yucky sweat results in an accomplishment of reaching a goal. Not the ultimate goal of perfection, of course, that won't be till we are in heaven, but we can set smaller goals here on earth and our loving Father is so incredibly faithful to help us get there, isn't He? ;o) So, the next time you begin to sweat.... ;o)

Bird's Eye View

The cleaning of the bedroom... sigh... Is there any other mother who wants to scream with a good deal of regularity over this chore of their children's? I do! Sheesh. This is my children's least favorite task during our morning routine, particularly during the summer time, and I often find myself reminding...and reminding...and reminding...and then reminding some more! During the school year, we rarely have this problem which I attribute to the good solid routine that school keep us in.

However, summertime brings an air of leniency from the momma of the house... Yep, that would be me, I'm the momma. :o) I often find myself letting them slide here and there with chores, cleaning and such. I find myself saying... They are on their summer vacation! Let them have some fun and not worry about responsibilities! They have their whole life to be grown, let them just be kids! Since these are all very true statements and kiddos just need a break now and again, there is one tool I use to keep bedrooms and playrooms from becoming unbearable...

It's something I learned from one of my supervisors over the years. She used to call it a bird's eye view. Stand in the room's doorway and scan the room for anything that hasn't yet been cared for, i.e. - bed made? laundry picked up? wet towels hung? (insert general clean up rules of your own home ;o)) This has been a great tool for during the summer when regular routines are somewhat scarce. In the morning as we are getting ready for the day,  I simply call out "Bird's eye view, Ladies!" The bedrooms and playrooms stay relatively habitable and momma refrains from screaming in frustration which is a good thing for us all. ;o)

As I called out this reminder to my girls the other day, the Lord asked me a question... "When was the last time you gave your heart a bird's eye view?" Now, mind you, I'd been having my time with the Lord, but I must say, during the summer, there are a few more interruptions from little feet coming down the hall way too early, and some days "boxes checked" rather than "heart surrendered" is more the theme of my quiet time... true confessions... :o)

So, as you might imagine, I was very convicted by this question posed. Have I spent time making certain my heart is cleaned and tidied? Have I stood in the doorway of my heart and checked for things that need to be cleaned up? Do I see any envy? How about malice? Deceit lying around? Is hypocrisy hiding under the bed?

"Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind."

- 1 Peter 2:1

God wrote through the Apostle Peter a few of the things that can make their way into my heart fairly subtly and unnoticed. It's so important that I maintain a time to search my heart for these things that can affect my day to day behavior in ways I don't always realize. A bird's eye view of the heart can give me a glimpse of whatever has wadded itself into a ball in the corner of my heart. I want to keep my heart a habitable place for my Lord. ;o)

Oh! By the way, the above pic is Chloe's side of the room, so the below pic had to be included of Abbi's side of the room to allow for fairness, you understand... ;o)

Spilt Milk

This post is a different one of sorts. I love devotionals. I love reading them. I love writing them. I love the start to my quiet times in the morning that a light-hearted devotional gives. So, I was thinking that some of you folks who read this blog and have said you enjoy the start a devotional gives to your day might enjoy hearing about a devotional book I've found that I absolutely love! 

It's called Spilt Milk by Linda Vujnov. I don't know that I've ever enjoyed a devotional book more than this one. Her stories are the perfect package of humor and sentiment coupled with the "realness" of being a mom.  I tried to think of a way to describe her book and this is how I'd say it...

She takes the bow of perfection people often refer to as motherhood - you know, the kind of bow we watched Martha Stewart make on the Oprah Winfrey Show at Christmas-time that no one could ever duplicate?  Well, maybe I was the only one who couldn't duplicate it... ;o)
She unties that impossible bow with stories of the beautiful reality of motherhood. She then takes those ribbons of mischief, love and exasperation and ties them together with the word of God into the most beautiful, yet simple tie that can grace all of us mommas with the honor that being a mother truly is.

Her book has been a tremendous blessing to me and I couldn't recommend it more! Hope you enjoy it too! :)

Ladybug & The New Couch

We got a new couch not too long ago. My dog, Ladybug, wasn't happy. :( It took away the perch she claimed for more than a few years and it got her into a little bit of trouble when Daddy decided she couldn't be on the couch anymore and had to spend her time on the floor. Daddy felt a little guilty I think, because I came home the other day to a doggy couch, complete with a couch pillow and raised arms for her to prop her little head on. He's such a softy... ;0)

Still though, my dog just does not like not being able to be next to me on the couch. She sits across the room from me, looking at me with soulful eyes just begging to jump up. She doesn't dare try it when Daddy's in the room because she knows how it will end, gulp.

However, it doesn't keep her from hopping up there when no one is home and I know it as soon as I walk in the front door. Normally, when I walk in the door, she jumps around twirling and dancing to the back door as she knows it will be opened post haste for her to relieve herself. She's happy as a lark! However, when she's been sitting on the new couch, as soon as she sees me, she skulks around with her belly on the floor and her tail at a slight wag looking up at me like, "Momma, it was only for a sec, I promise!" My girls get a good healthy giggle out of it every time and always say, "Ladybug! You're a terrible liar! Why do you always tell on yourself?"

Sigh. I suppose in this way I'm a terrible liar too. Those who know me well know I'm horrible about telling on myself whenever I do something foolish or inappropriate. Just like my Ladybug! ;o) Sometimes I feel like King David did whenever he wrote these words in Psalms...

"For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me."

Psalm 51:3

My sins sit right in front of my face and remind me of how badly I've blown it on quite a regular basis. Anybody else? Well, I have some encouraging news for you today... ;o) A few years ago, I came across a song called What Sin? by Morgan Cryer. This excerpt is my favorite part...

Lord please deliver me / From my accusing memory 

 Nothing makes me weak this way / Than when I hear You say 

 What sin? What sin?  / Well, that's as far away as the east is from the west.

What sin? / What sin? / It was gone the very minute you confessed 

 Buried in the sea of forgetfulness.

These words are such a true reminder of where Scripture says my sins really are supposed to be. Not in my face or tattling on me! ;o) 

 

Anybody Feel Like Worshippin'? ;o)

Woke up today wanting to do a different kind of post. I had several ideas running through my head and couldn't wait to get to my computer with my coffee. :) This is the idea that seemed to stick, so I hope it's a blessing for you. I could sing this song all day long (and I often do, much to the consternation of my girls ;o)) and not get tired of it, cause the words are the outcry of my heart. It's called Psalm 130.

Again, I hope you are blessed! I love you, Jesus! You are my God.

Gonna cut back on my posts a little, gang. I've been able to goof off this summer and just write, but it's back to reality this week. I'll be teaching music (Yipee!!) in the fall and I've got to get goin' on my responsibilities for that. Hope you still click on over on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and check out what weird thing the Lord is talking to me about! Have a fabulous Monday!!! :)

A Most Unholy Contraption!

Ever been on a roller coaster? I have.

I've only ridden a few, but I do have an opinion about them.  I detest them.

My first ride on a roller coaster was when I was 6 years old. It was a miserable experience and I made quite certain my parents knew I wouldn't be doing it again any time soon! Recently, I got on a roller coaster again... sigh. It was for my children! We were at Six Flags without the help of Daddy or big sisters and they really wanted to ride this thing - it was the Judge Roy Scream. Now, for those of you who are avid coaster fans, I'm quite sure you are already laughing at me because this is considered a very mild roller coaster; however, when you have an aversion as strong as mine, even the mildest ride can unglue ya!

So, I found myself in line for this ride and I convinced myself it couldn't be bad, it had a green sign! (Six Flags rating for mild ride intensity) As I fastened my seat belt, I think I finally believed this ride would be no big deal. Wrong-o! As the car climbed the top of the very first hill, I felt the sweats, shakes and sincere remorse at this not-very-well-thought-out decision begin to overtake me. My answer? Prayin' to my sweet Jesus at the top of my lungs! My youngest was sitting next to me and I think she probably regretted that particular decision along with the decision to even get on this thing because she seems to have the same aversion as her momma.

As we crested the hill and began the rapid descent, I felt my heart go up into my throat which I shoved back down with a mighty, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! YUCK!

•  I detest the feeling of free falling and holding on so tight I can't feel my arms! 
•  I detest the feeling of my feet having no firm place to stomp in protest! 
•  I detest the feeling my poor stomach is put through during the upward climbs and rapid descents and whatever other jerking and gyrating goes on! 

Now, I can't help but notice some parallels with my feelings about roller coasters and an issue with which I struggle- insecurity. This particular subject has caused me more than a few unpleasant rides, shall we say? The difference? Glad you asked! ;o) 

• When insecurity causes me to fall, I don't have to worry about holding on tight because Jesus holds me tight.
• I've never met an insecurity that could shake my firm footing when I'm standing on The Rock, even if I'm stomping in protest. ;o) 
• Lastly, when the stress of insecurity tries to "do a number" on my internal organs, I'm strengthened by the grace of God to withstand even the most unsettling of circumstance.

Now, I know this Scripture reference is lengthy, but it is so perfect and I urge you to read it all the way through and not give up in boredom.

Psalm 91 from The Message

 You who sit down in the High God's presence, spend the night in Shaddai's shadow,
Say this: "God, you're my refuge.
I trust in you and I'm safe!"
That's right—he rescues you from hidden traps,
shields you from deadly hazards.
His huge outstretched arms protect you—
under them you're perfectly safe;
his arms fend off all harm.
Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night,
not flying arrows in the day,
Not disease that prowls through the darkness,
not disaster that erupts at high noon.
Even though others succumb all around,
drop like flies right and left,
no harm will even graze you.
You'll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance,
watch the wicked turn into corpses.
Yes, because God's your refuge,
the High God your very own home,
Evil can't get close to you,
harm can't get through the door.
He ordered his angels
to guard you wherever you go.
If you stumble, they'll catch you;
their job is to keep you from falling.
You'll walk unharmed among lions and snakes,
and kick young lions and serpents from the path.

"If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God,
"I'll get you out of any trouble.
I'll give you the best of care
if you'll only get to know and trust me.
Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times;
I'll rescue you, then throw you a party.
I'll give you a long life,
give you a long drink of salvation!"

See! I told you it was perfect! Aren't you glad you read till the end? Jesus has the answer to every problem, folks, even roller coasters! ;0)

Have You Had Your Starbucks Today?

I love Starbucks. It's one of my favorite treats on my way to an early morning destination. One morning, I stopped to go through a Starbucks drive-thru to get my fix and I had an experience I won't soon forget. Now, the parking lot had several entrances, so there were two possible avenues to enter the drive thru. I was in line, but not all the way up to the ordering screen when an SUV came up from the other direction. At first, I didn't think it would be a problem. I mean, I was there first, he saw me and he would just get into line behind me after I had moved my van completely into the path of the ordering screen, right? Wrong.

I'm pretty sure the gentleman saw me, but he moved his SUV into a position that made his intention clear - he was going to cut in front of me. I. saw. red. (In Southern, that means I got mad!) I gunned the engine, yanked that gear shift into drive and jerked forward before he had time to move an inch. Was that enough for me? Nope. I turned my head in his direction and explicitly mouthed the words, "I was here first!"  Hmph. I gave myself an inner high-five and chuckled at the absurdity of the injustice this man was about to commit and how proud I was that I had stopped it! Anyone care to guess how long that party lasted? Well...... um....... :0)

I would love to say that the Holy Spirit began to speak gently to my heart, but I really want to be genuine here, okay? The Holy Spirit CHEWED on my hiny for the next five minutes and they were the LONGEST of my life! My momma used to say the Holy Spirit was a gentleman, but well, this day, He seemed more like a dad who was about to wup me!

Sigh. I knew what had to be done.  I pulled up to the window and gave over my bank card. With a down-trodden face and a sheepish tone, I began to tell the clerk of my encounter. She listened very respectfully while I explained my behavior and asked would she please add whatever the total of their order was to my bill and tell them how sorry I was. Thankfully, she didn't laugh at me, but rather nodded her head (almost as if she already knew) and said, "Yes, ma'am." As I pulled away from the window and into the busy morning traffic, I could barely lift my head, so great was my conviction. So glad I did... As I looked up, the woman in the passenger seat had rolled down her window and nearly hung herself out the window waving and mouthing "Thank you!" over and over. Unless my eyes deceived me, I'm pretty sure I saw tears too...

I've never seen those folks again, but I've often wondered if the Lord was able to do anything with my behavior? You know, was He able to take my mess of an ungodly reaction, conviction and obedient attempt at earthly restitution and use it toward His glory? Might just be wishful thinkin' on my part, but I'm certainly not perfect (and the above is a wonderful example of that) and I can only hope and pray that the Lord will take my mistakes and somehow turn people's eyes toward Him, you know part of that whole "work" thing that comes with salvation... ;0)

"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,"   - Philippians 2:12

Scars

"Heal the wound, but leave the scar / A reminder of how merciful You are..."

 

I heard these words in church a few weeks ago during the special music portion of our service and I was so blessed by the message.  

I have a scar on the back side of my skull from surgery on my brain stem almost two years ago. It's a very lengthy tale, spanning several years, this story of me and my skull. However, so unimportant are the details I won't bore you with them. The importance of this story to me is the scar. At the risk of offending some, I want you to know - I believe in divine, miraculous healing. However, in my particular case, I walked a journey that didn't end with an instantaneous miracle that rid my body of my issue without medical intervention. I saw doctors- many doctors. I received diagnoses - many diagnoses. I took medicines- many medicines. I prayed prayers- many, many prayers. Finally, my case ended in surgery to correct the abnormalities of my skull and it's problematic symptoms. I was left with a scar that I have to say... I'm pretty proud to know is there. ;0) Just ask my neurosurgeon and hubby - they were there when the dressing was removed and I took one look at the reddish wound with it's ugly black stitches and all I could say was, "Cool!" ;0)

My scar reminds me of how God prioritized my internal work over my external. Through this journey, I learned to trust my heavenly Father in a way I didn't know existed. I learned to extend forgiveness and enforce healthy boundaries, something I failed at for many a year. I learned to have relationships far away from the roller coaster of insecurity. I learned to enjoy my girls rather than spend all my time instructing them. So many are the lessons I learned I don't have enough room on this blog to list them! ;0)

Every time I sweep my hair into a ponytail, I can feel the place where I was cut. It's covered by my hair now, everything grew back, but I can still feel it. I'm reminded each time of the grace of God, His loving hand, His perfect timing. My wound healed a long time ago, but I hope my scar is always there to remind me of His mercy - His unmerited favor toward me.

"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." - Hebrews 4:16

Hit "Send"!

What is it about seeing someone else extremely angry and frustrated that makes me want to giggle? I mean, really, really giggle, like inappropriately so... And why is it that it makes the other person even more angry, especially when it's my husband?. ;0)-

I recently watched my husband try his hand at fixing our washer and dryer and well, let me just say, there were more than a few moments of frustration on his part and more than a few moments of sincere effort at NOT giggling on my part. To the point of tears, y'all... lots of tears... ;0) My husband doesn't feel quite the same way about giggles as I do. ;0)

I was supposed to be doing the very important job of holding the little white pipe-looking  thing-y on which he was trying to affix some large black rubber thing-y with this clamp-looking thing-y on the end. The problem was the clamp thing-y was WAY too strong to be pulled back and tightened by the human hand. So, a pair of pliers seemed to be the way to go except our pliers were old and they kept slipping off the clamp which caused my husband's hand to get pinched in between washing machine inner parts and you can imagine the rest, hmmm? Thus, the reason for my giggling... and his angry looks... and my giggling... and his struggle with desperately wanting to send me into the house, but he desperately needed other hands besides his. :) I mentioned several times that he should text knowledgeable-about-this-kind-of-thing neighbor to come over and help, but he didn't want to bother the poor guy as he'd just come home from work after his own long day in the heat. So, I made an appropriate excuse to go into the house to get him a large glass of water and I barely made it in the door before the giggles took hold of me. I managed to get him water, get myself together and head back outside. The problem? I didn't do a very good job removing the expression of laughter from my face. Oopsie. :) He took one look at my face and said, "It's not funny, Nell!" Well, that sent me into another tizzy of giggles. He then sent me into the house and said he'd finish himself.

So, I stood just inside the door contemplating whether or not I could exercise a bit more self-control and as my hubby was sweating, beginning to bleed, and trying very hard to not say something un-Christlike, the doorbell rang. Whew! Praise the Lord, it was the afore-mentioned neighbor who came when he was texted for help and within minutes, my washer was back in my laundry room, good as new! ;0) Yay! My hubby hit the "send" button!

I've wondered if the Lord wants to giggle at me sometimes? Now, don't misunderstand me, we don't serve a God who mocks or is mocked, but I do wonder if he finds my frustration amusing at times. He's sitting right there, with His cell phone out - so to speak- ready to receive my text, but I don't hit "send" because I want to fix it myself and not bother Him (like He doesn't already know what's going on... really?) He's ready and waiting to meet my need... I just have to ask, um, I mean, hit "send". ;0) 

"In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.  Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." - John 16:23-24

Whispers & Tears

"Nell?" she whispered... Slight movement from the covered figure...

"Nell?" she whispered a little more loudly....Lifting up of the head from the pillow and a START of fright from said covered figure...

"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." she said with a contrite look on her face.

"No, that's okay, sweetie, I wasn't all the way asleep, what's up, are you okay?" said the rumpled, slightly incoherent woman starting to come around and have the mother-concern of a child about to vomit...

"Yeah, I'm good, I just didn't get to give you a hug or tell you 'I love you' before you went to bed." she said with a small smile on her face...

"Oh, I'm sorry, honey." said the rueful, now fully coherent woman feeling badly for her inconsideration.

She just wanted to give me a hug and say "I love you"... (tear, sniff) 

Now, was I really expected to go right back to sleep after that? Really, people.... sigh. As I laid back down after hugs were given and kind words of love were exchanged, I shed a few tears of joy and perhaps healing, I think, at what a blessing my girls are to me in my life. Before I had children, I thought often of what I would be like as a momma. (ahem, snort) Let's just say, I'm really glad I didn't follow through on those thoughts. ;0) I can honestly say, I never considered my quiver would be as full of girls as it is and I'm so very glad I was wrong on that count. The healing, the growth, the love that being a momma and step momma has brought to me has been something I never even considered, never even dreamed would be a result. Isn't that just like the Lord? He gives us things we desire or think we desire and then, what we desire ends up being so much beyond what we thought it was gonna be. Wow, Lord, You're amazing...:)

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. "- Ephesians 3:21-22

Balance

Life is like a teeter-totter. Wait!  Let me rephrase that!      

Life is like a tightrope. Hmmm... Okay, no, I don't think that's right either...

Life is like a balance beam? Now, that I've thought it out... ;0)

 I think life is like all three.

Sometimes life is like a teeter-totter, going crazy with highs and lows and not much time in between. Think it has something to do with being an adolescent! ;)

Life is sometimes like a tightrope, walking along 1/4 inch by 1/4 inch, sweating bullets and hoping to have firm footing very soon. I'm quite sure parenting is much of the time on the tight rope! 

Life seeming like a balance beam has to be somewhere in the middle of these two. There isn't the up and down of a teeter-totter on a balance beam unless its a controlled, planned movement of a leap or a flip. Moving along on a balance beam goes much faster than a tightrope and it's not quite as nerve-wracking.

Honestly, I think I need all three. Now, I know some may disagree with that statement because not everyone enjoys the highs and lows that come with a teeter-totter. Also, some folks might not care too much for the tension that would come with a tight rope walk - too much stress! ;) Perhaps even still, someone might consider a balance beam too boring. However, I truly believe God allows all three times in my life to truly teach me, to mold me, to grow me.

During my teeter-totter years (in my teens and early 20's), I learned to hang on tight to the Lord. He was the only steady and strong force in my life during those years. Granted, I did have a lot of fun and those highs were so exhilarating! However, the lows can be debilitating and I had to learn to hold on to my faith in God's Word to keep me from flying off the teeter-totter that made up my life.

Ahhh, the tight rope! I'm in the midst of a tight rope walk right now. You see, I'm right smack in the middle of my parenting journey. I can see the "light at the end of the tunnel" so to speak as I get glimpses here and there of who my beautiful girls will most likely be when they are grown, but I find myself biting my lip when it comes to decisions that affect my girls. The responsibility of teaching and training them isn't something I take lightly and it causes me to sweat bullets on a regular basis! ;0) I've learned though to use the Word of God as my balancing pole. It pulls me back from the right or left whenever my own judgment cannot be trusted to make a step in the forward direction.

Now, I must admit I feel I haven't had my fair share of time on the balance beam! Gonna have to have a talk with the Lord about that one! ;0) Despite my best efforts to control and plan every move me and everyone else ;) makes, it just doesn't work out quite as fluidly and gracefully as I see others manage. If I had to point to a time for this apparatus of life, I guess it would be when I accepted Jesus as my Savior - smoothest leap and land I've ever made. It's easy to grasp the fact that you need a Savior when you have as big a mouth as I do! ;) So, in considering this passage of Scripture...

"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,  for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose."  Philippians 2:12-13

It seems to me the teeter-totter and the tight rope times are part of the whole "work out your salvation with fear and trembling" in my opinion. I need these times to keep me humble, remind me who is really in charge and challenge me to be ready for whatever might come my direction. The only constant is God and His Word and as long as I hold on and allow them to balance me, I'll come away from these contraptions of my life's journey learning valuable lessons and...hopefully... not too many bumps and bruises! ;)

Ahab & Jezebel - Cycles and Circles

I have read much these days about the kings of Israel and Judah. Fascinating stories. I think the one that has had me spellbound has been about Ahab and Jezebel. This has to be the story of the most insecure, afraid-of-people man and the most manipulative, scheming woman on this good green earth! Mercy!

I cannot think of one thing Ahab did that was a good thing. I don't think he had a spine, let alone a concept of noble integrity. Instead, he got into his bed and pouted on a regular basis. Pitiful. I cannot imagine having respect for a leader who would behave in such a way. Now, the only remotely kind thing I can say about his wife, Jezebel is I could understand her frustration with him when she gave him a tongue-lashing and told him to get up off his bed and quit acting like a baby! The sad, pathetic twist is that Jezebel's heart had no intention of doing good or honoring God in any way and instead of encouraging him to be a Godly man, she goaded him with murder, revenge and idol worship. Decisions Ahab made hid behind Jezebel's manipulations and calculating schemes. Supportive wife? I think not! The fact that they were both willing partners in some very destructive cycles of behavior in marriage and leadership is very sad indeed.
As I sat in awe of this story of a marriage so dysfunctional and ungodly, I was challenged to evaluate my own behavior in marriage. Do I encourage my husband to be a Godly man or am I manipulative and scheming? Now, thankfully, I don't have a hubby who is prone to pout. (psst - he leaves that to his wife ;)) He is a very noble, Godly man who sets the bar very high as to the definition of integrity. However, he is a human - flawed and saved by the grace of God and there are certainly things that cause him insecurity. I believe it is my job as his wife to come alongside him and offer respectful and submissive counsel when I feel things are going in an inappropriate direction. Timing, however is key.

Now, while I certainly wouldn't know this from personal experience ;0) it isn't appropriate to interrupt a situation and give an overbearing opinion right there in the middle of things heated and disheveled. Revisiting the topic later and gently offering counsel in the privacy of our home, or our room if our children are near ;0) is so much more appropriate and effective.   I am a valuable allied power of my husband. I have to take that very seriously and refuse the temptation to use that to my own agenda's advantage and manipulate with it.

I was nervous about including verses with this post, I must admit. Our generation has so misused the term submission to authority and unfortunately, women become aggravated at the very mention of the word, even in Christian circles. I love this verse because it beautifully illustrates the responsibility of each person in marriage. Men are commanded to love and women are commanded to respect. Those two things are not mutually exclusive. When a woman respects her husband through appropriate timing, well-chosen words and motives of purity she earns the respect of her husband. Likewise, when a man has respect for his wife, its a very simple, uncomplicated thing for him to show her love and how cherished she is. Lastly, when a woman feels loved, it's a simple thing to show respect. It's a beautiful circle of what marriage should really look like instead of the unhealthy cycle of distrust, manipulation and deceit.

"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." - Ephesians 5:33

Slimy Hairs and Simple Prayers

My youngest is in the beginning stages of washing, conditioning and rinsing her own hair. Now, much to her dismay, I still require her to wait until I check her hair before she does any of the above steps on her own. Most of the time she cooperates with that rule, until one evening..... ;0)

One evening, she decided she was big enough to do it all by herself and came out from the bathroom in record time completely dry, dressed and hair combed out. To myself I thought, "Hmmm..." To her, I said, "Wow, babe, why didn't you call me to come check?" She lifted her head, smiled her winning smile and said, "I can do it, Mommy! I can do it all by myself!" I simply smiled and said "Okay." Pick and choose those battles, right? Well.... um.....

About 30 minutes went by and it really seemed like her hair was drying very slowly this particular evening, although it didn't completely register with me what happened until I heard my 9 year old call out, "Uh, Mom... there's slime in Chloe's hair." Up from the chair I went directly to the playroom where they were fully engaged in Barbie's workday. As I got closer, I saw it - white slimy streaks all around the crown of my daughter's head and it still looked shiny wet. As I put my fingers through it, I nearly squealed with the grossness of it all! Not-all-the-way-rinsed shampoo mixed with really-not-all-the-way-rinsed conditioner and then air dried for about 45 minutes is a disgusting trio of errors, let me tell you! "Back to the shower, sister." said the assuredly-annoyed-but-trying-really-hard-to-be-patient mommy. She hung her little head in defeat and headed to the hall bath where Mommy remedied the slimy situation in about 5 minutes.

"Mommy?" she said in a quiet voice as I was drying out her hair with the towel.
"Yes, baby." I replied continuing to dry and brush in even strokes.
"Do you think I'll ever be big enough to wash my own hair?"
"Yes, darlin' you will, but for now, could you just be my baby a little bit longer?"
I was rewarded with a big grin and a nod and a rather wet-headed hug. ;0) Ahhh, she'll be my baby a little while longer... (tear, sniff) 

I don't know why, but thinking of this memory challenged me in a different kind of way. How often do I just enjoy my babies being my babies a little while longer? Do I willingly assist when they need my help or do I fuss at them about responsibility? In my zeal to teach, instill and prepare, do I miss the times of just being Mommy and baby? So, instead of some Scripture, I just felt like I needed to pray, hope that's all right. :)

"Lord, please guide my heart in raising my girls. Thank you for the charge to teach them about You and Your Word and prepare them for adulthood - I don't take it lightly. Balance me, Lord. Cause me to enjoy their presence and their lives. Help me to be blessed when they need me and refuse the aggravation that sometimes replaces the blessing. I love You..."

Names

Names. Baby names. Is there possibly anything more fun about being pregnant than picking out a name for your baby? I don't think so... unless it's being allowed to be lazy because you have a very good excuse! ;)

We have several friends who are having babies in the near future and we got into a family discussion a few nights ago about picking names for babies. We were telling the girls about Abbi's name and about how Daddy and I fought over her middle name. Daddy wanted Nicole and I wanted Rose. It had turned into a bit of an argument one day cause we are both stubborn. ;) I decided to look up the meaning of the two names because that had to convince him that Rose was the way to go. I found the meaning of Nicole first and as soon as I saw the words "victorious heart", I was ready to admit defeat and his choice was soon my choice and 9 years later - that's her middle name. ;)

The meaning of a name is something that always resonated with my momma. She made sure I knew what my name meant at a very young age. My name is Danelle which is a feminine form of the name Daniel and means - "God is my Judge". Just so you know, there are only 3 people in my entire lifetime who've pronounced my name correctly the first time they said it and the only reason I know is because my momma pointed it out to me as soon as the word was out of their mouth. Its' pronounced very differently from the more popular name, Danielle, in case you were wondering. ;0)

"God is my Judge" has defined my existence on this earth. I never cared much what anyone thought of my life choices growing up as long as I was okay with God to the point of being ridiculously socially awkward and unkind. This made for some lonely, difficult years especially in adolescence when "going along with the crowd" is what you do and for the most part I didn't because I thought it was stupid and had no qualms saying so. Sigh. Thankfully, the Lord has caused me to understand the meaning of the words tact and grace in the last 20 years or so. ;)

In spite of all the loneliness and feeling very weird throughout my early teens and into my 20's, I am very thankful for the meaning of my name because it's always reminded me of who God made me to be - who He chose me to be. See, He has a plan for me and my weirdness and He's revealed much to me over the years through the name I was given. Even though His plan included some loneliness and awkwardness at times, He still taught me through those times. Even when no one else really cared to be around me because of my complete lack of sensitivity, He was always waiting for me when I came home, defeated and unworthy. He always edified me through those times. He always cared for me through those times. He never forgot me. He never pushed me away. He always listened. He always loved.
So, wonder what your name means? ;0)

"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be." - Psalm 139: 13-16 

Hot Dogs

Hot dogs. The staple of any decent 4th of July picnic. An all American food, yes? Well... not for this all American girl. Blech. I do not like hot dogs or "tube steaks" as a friend of mine frequently referred to them whenever he and his wife would be serving them to company. Sounds fancier, you understand. ;)  I know you are beside yourself with wonder at the reason for my lack of hot dog love. Well, okay, maybe not beside yourself, but well, just go with it. ;0)

I'll keep you in suspense no longer. ;) I ate hot dogs on a very regular basis growing up. They were cheap and my family wasn't the richest on the block. Then, as I was working my way through college, I ate hot dogs again on a very regular basis for the same reason. There were many weeks in college when hot dogs were on the menu more than once - way more than once. Now, while I was always taught to be thankful for the fact I had food on my plate and it was more than what many folks had, I can still remember looking at the hot dogs and having to swallow back an involuntary gag reflex. So, now I'm just plain sick of eating them and I can't do it. Can anyone relate? I feel the same way about Ramen soup and cheese in a can. Shudder. Now, there is one exception for hot dogs. I can eat a chili dog about two or three times a year. I don't know why, but I get a craving for an all beef hot dog smothered in good old-fashioned Hormel chili, cheddar cheese and red onion on top - a lot of red onion!  Honestly though, with the exception of the afore-mentioned every few months chili dog, the thought of eating a hot dog still makes me want to gag. Literally.

I am so very thankful God's Word is nothing like hot dogs. Reading God's Word is amazing to me because I can read the exact same passage of Scripture and learn completely new things every single time. The books of the Bible are written in a variety of formats, some historical, some poetic, etc. However, even though the formats are different and they were penned to the paper by different men, they were all inspired of the Holy Spirit. How multi-faceted our Father in heaven is! His Word is our spiritual nourishment and instead of growing tired of the same old fare, we can look forward to a new taste every single day even though it might be the same dish!

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that all God’s people may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

- 2 Timothy 3:16-17